


Put Something Silly in the World (That Ain't Been There Before)

by maevewren



Series: Meaningful Magical [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff without Plot, Kid Fic, M/M, Married Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 03:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21313624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevewren/pseuds/maevewren
Summary: This is the plotless fluff thing that happens when you are procrastinating on your larger works. This is the weird domestic Sterek shit that just runs through my head 24/7. Now I'm dumping it on you.Title from "Put Something In" by Shel Silverstein (it's also a solid fic-writing mantra)
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Meaningful Magical [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542610
Comments: 13
Kudos: 185





	Put Something Silly in the World (That Ain't Been There Before)

“Derek?!” Stiles bellows up from the foyer of their house. “Deeeeeeerrrrekkkk!”

Derek comes muttering out from his office on the second floor to look down the stairs at his husband. “For gods’ sake, what? I was working.”

“I can’t find the kids’ ice skates.”

Derek sighs. Stiles can never find anything in their house, ever. If anything happens to Derek their children will be doomed to a life without bed linens, toilet paper, breakfast cereal or anything else that isn’t in Stiles’ direct sightline. And even then, it’s iffy.

“Garage. Side wall, top of the shelf with the other sports equipment.” He turns to go back to work.

“Wait!”

Derek growls. “What?”

“Where are Kelsey’s mittens? She can’t find them.”

Kelsey is a near-clone of her father Stiles, right down to the moles on her cheeks and her propensity for mischief. And forgetfulness.

“She left them at school last week. They’re probably in the lost-and-found. Now can I get back to work, please?”

Stiles whines. “But her hands will get so cold! Derek! That is your daughter, you want her hands to freeze? How will you live with yourself?”

“Stiles. It’s 50 degrees outside. I know we live in California, but relax. Her hands will not freeze.”

“You wouldn’t say that if she weren’t a werewolf.” Stiles narrows his eyes. “You’re much more protective of Patrick.”

“Patrick is human, he is, by definition, more vulnerable. It’s not favoritism.”

Stiles frowns. “I’m human. You’re not very protective of me.”

Derek exhales and pinches the bridge of his nose. “This again? Stiles. Patrick is 4. Last I checked, you were a grown man.”

Stiles grins. “Feel like checking right now, big guy?”

“Aren’t you in the process of taking our children ice-skating? You really have no shame at all, do you?”

Stiles shrugs. “If they walk in on anything I’ll just explain that when a werewolf daddy and a human daddy love each other very much-”

“Remind me why I procreated with you.”

“Hey, you’re the one who tracked down the sorceress who cast the spell to give me temporary baby-oven plumbing. Not once, but twice.” Stiles looks smug. “You must have really wanted to crush our genes together and be bound to me forever.”

“I guess I’ll look like a real idiot if I tell you I emailed her this morning to see if she would do it again.”

“What?!” Stiles bounds up the stairs until he’s right in Derek’s face. “You did what now?”

Derek shrugs.

“Um. Wow. Don’t you think we should have talked this through first? I don’t know that I have another pregnancy in me. That shit is hard. There’s a reason women do it normally. Men really aren’t tough enough, I swear.”

“Actually.” Derek clears his throat. “I thought I might give it a try.”

Stiles shrieks and jumps up and down, while simultaneously hugging Derek, which is very uncomfortable and Derek shoves him off.

“Don’t get too excited. She hasn’t written back yet. You know how sorceresses are.”

Stiles nods sagely. “Unpredictable. Crafty. Entirely possibly dead by the hand of some other magical creature.”

“I was thinking slow with technology, but sure.”

“Wait a second.” Stiles freezes and looks alarmed. “What if I have bad sperm?”

“What?”

“I mean, it’s untested. It’s never impregnated anybody before. It could be bad, like, screwy.”

Derek raises an eyebrow. “You do realize that half of the DNA in our children is yours, yes? Even if it didn’t come from sperm. Whatever is...screwy...in you is in them already. I think we’re fine.”

“So you think my DNA is screwy? Is that what you’re saying?”

Derek rests his hands on Stiles’ shoulders. “What I am saying to you is that it is entirely too soon for you to enter into procreative panic mode. Even if Treluila gets back to me and agrees, we don’t know if it will work.”

“Right, because my swimmers are weak.” Stiles nods sadly.

“Oh my god. Shut up. Aren’t our kids waiting for you?”

“Shit!” Stiles’ eyes go wide. “I forgot about them! I’m not fit to be a father again!”

“It’s a little late for that. You already are a father and always will be.” He turns Stiles in the direction of the stairs and nudges him. “Go. Have fun. Stop stressing.”

Stiles starts walking and stops halfway down the stairs. “One last thing.”

“What.” Derek rubs his face. He needed to get back to work 10 minutes ago.

“I think I forgot how to make babies, can we practice tonight? You can show me the ropes?”

“Oh, you want the ropes tonight?” Derek asks coolly.

Stiles swallows. “I should go.”

“You should go.”

Stiles is out the door and Derek back at his desk when he hears his husband come back into the house.

“Der!” he shouts upstairs.

“Jesus Christ, what did you forget now?”

“To say I love you!”

Derek can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. The door shuts again before he can respond, but that’s okay. Stiles knows.

If there’s anything in this world that they know, it’s that.


End file.
